Three Engineers

There are three engineers in a car going for a drive. The first is a mechanical engineer, the second an electronics engineer and the third is a software engineer.

Fortunately, the mechanical engineer is driving because the brakes fail as they are going downhill. The mechanical engineer eventually brings the car safely to a halt and gets out to examine the hydraulic systems.

The electronics engineer gets out and checks the body computer, ABS system and the power train CAN bus.

The software engineer stays in the car and when queried about it says that they should all just get back in the car and see if it happens again!

The Optimist, The Pessimist and The Engineer

The optimist says, “The glass is half full”.

The pessimist says, “The glass is half empty”.

The engineer says, “The glass is twice as big as it needs to be”. 

Engineer Speak

What is said What it means
A number of different approaches are being tried. We don't know where we're going, but we're moving.

An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach to the problem. We just hired three guys. We'll let them kick it around for a while.
Developed after years of intensive research. It was discovered by accident.

Modifications are underway to correct certain minor difficulties. We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.
Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive. The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

Test results were extremely gratifying. It works and, boy, are we surprised!

The design will be finalised in the next reporting period. We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.
The entire concept is unworkable. The only guy who understood the thing just quit.

We need close project coordination. We should have asked someone else.
Alternate: Let's spread the responsibility for this.

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